Thank You To My Family!

My Family

  Family is a word that has so many meanings! I would like to take this opportunity to talk about mine! I was blessed by God for giving me the Family I have! Although we all have different lives, and families of our own, although we don’t always see eye to eye and approve the decisions the other makes. We always want the best for each other! We are always there for each other in times of need and sorrow. Weather you need a shoulder to cry on without judgment, or to sit by the pool and get snookered. Weather you need a warm hug or to be left alone, Weather you need to pour your heart out and just have someone listen or a hard cup of advice, They always seem to know just what it is you need and interrupt what is going on with them in their lives to take care of you even for just a moment or a weekend to get away! And the best part is you never seem to have to ask because they always seem to know what you “NEED” not necessarily what you want! Thank you to my parents the heart of our strong beautiful family who would give anything you need even if it means they have to do without. They are still sacrificing everyday for our family even though their children are all in their 40’s. They have taken in all the strays we brought home over the years and treated them like their own, and most of the time no one wanted to leave. You don’t see many parents that are more loving and accepting than Mine! Yes My family is great. We do not go without our flaws by any means but we accept each other for them and love each other more especially because none of us are perfect. It’s what gives us our chanter! I so look forward to holidays and get together so we can all be together. It is what keeps me up when I’m down, Happy when I am sad, and make it through the worst times in my life! Yes I Love my family

The Day My Internet Died

The Day My Internet Died!!

I never knew how much I took my internet access for granted, until one day it was gone. One day during a big storm my router went to router heaven. It was a very sad day. I stared at my blank screen on my computer and wished I could access the internet. My whole life is on the internet. What am I supposed to do? Get up and go outside? Arghh!! NO!! Anything but that. SO I sat there and kept pushing the button saying this will work it. If I picture it in my head therefore it will be Right?  Not. I could not get it through my head that I just could not connect. So I had to do the unthinkable and call my service provider. They said oh we will be happy to send you a new router for a small fee.” A small fee “I said. Why do I pay you guys insurance if I have to pay “A small fee every time something goes wrong?” So she put me on hold, don’t you just LOVE when these people put you on hold? You just know while you’re listening to the lame music and advertisements to get you to spend even more ridiculous amounts of money for something that sounds great but never seems to make any difference to your service, there are sitting back in their cubical eating their lunch and talking shit about you. So when she comes back on the phone she says “Oh I’m so sorry I did not realize your insurance covered your modem/router. Why they never look for things to start with I will never know. After all isn’t that why you give them ALL of your information from your name to rank and serial number? So after she told me that they would send my new shiny router free of charge I was happy once again. Until, she said it will take up to 5 business days to arrive on my doorstep. Now this was a Thursday so my internet would be out for a whole week. I thought I would pass out. How will I work How will I tell everyone how great my products are. How will I look for a job? I may have to go outside and actually talk to people?!? I don’t think I even remember how to do that. It was painful and uncomfortable to even think about it. Thank God for TV because if you watch enough of it, it makes the time go faster and before I knew it my bright shiny new router had arrived. I was so happy.

Now I’m not really educated in how routers, computers, and internet work I know if I push enough buttons and keep clicking the next button until it says finish then boom! there is my beloved internet. So in this case I thought replace one router with the other right. Just unplug the dead one, plug in the new one and I’m back in business! Boy was I wrong. I unplugged replugged, reset and went through the DVD for 2 hours and guess what NO INTERNET. Now after a week without it I was chomping at the bit to get it up and going.  So I called my beloved friends at customer support and I’ll be damned, they were closed for the night. What happened to 24 hour customer support? That was a beautiful thing. Nothing I did would work, and it was 3:00am so I went to bed. The next day I came to the realization that I needed help and called the dreaded customer support number once again.

It’s funny to me that after they take enough personal info from you to destroy your life, and ask your issue they always seem to have to transfer you to another department to start the process all over and when you finally make it to someone who thinks they can help you, they put you on hold. Ahh I love calling Customer support! It’s got to be one of my top 10 favorite things to do of all time.

So I tell her what is going I need my shiny new router to work, and I tell her everything I have already tried. I plugged and unplugged, reset, and went through the DVD for two hours the night before, what does she make me do? Reset, unplug, turn off, replug, and go through the set up DVD. Gee why didn’t I think of that? So when that did not work, we went into parts of my computer I never knew existed. We looked at this and that changed a thing here and there and nothing, no internet I was in a panic. My palms were sweating, my heart was racing, Yep I was in full blown internet withdrawal. So I was not hanging up until I could connect. Without boring you with the technical details as if I could remember them but it came down to a password. A simple little password wasn’t matching up. Sounds simple right? Nothing about this is simple. So the customer support person walked me through changing several passwords and when it didn’t work she gave me different passwords to change the passwords we just changed. So we did this about 15 times and I tried to tell her we changed this password 15 times but it keeps saying we need to reset the master password. She said no we have to leave that alone. But that is what my computer was telling me the problem was. I love customer support they always listen so well. Well after 4 hours on the phone with this lady doing the same steps over and over and over I was done! I was coming to the realization that I may have to live without my internet for a while longer. Then I decided to try something on my own which let me tell you my ignorance for these thing are vast so it never works out well when I go it alone!  I have messed up many a computer going this rout but I just had a feeling. So I went and changed that password that my computer kept telling needed to be changed and my wonderful customer service tech told me I could not do. And Low and Behold we have internet. And all is right with the world once again!

Dear Mom,

Dear Mom,

I’m sorry I am not the daughter that you wanted. I’m sorry we are not as close as we should. I’m sorry I Always disappoint you.

When I was a child I had the perfect childhood because of you. You made a Home for us full of Love and warmth! You were Always there when we came home from school to take care of us make sure we did our homework and had time to play. You were everyone’s favorite room Mother and always made the tastiest snacks for school parties. All the kids loved you and so did we. We were always proud to call you Mom.

You always made special occasions so special and made us feel like the most important person in the world.. There was never a birthday without a homemade cake and dinner of our choice. With the glow of the candles on the cake and friends and family singing the worst rendition of Happy Birthday imaginable we were happy kids! Holidays were always so special as the house filled with the delicious smells of your special holiday treats to the Christmas tree that was always overstuffed with presents underneath. And the decorations inside and out no matter what holiday you always made it special.

The summers were always filled with pool parties, horseshoes, yard darts and bad mitten late nights catching lightning bugs, Suntan lotion, sun brewed tea and homemade pop cycles. Friends were always staying overnight, traipsing ,in and out of the house driving you crazy.  You always made sure that was special too, from VCR movies to the home made popcorn and staying up all night. And you had a way of making rainy days fun too with family board games to letting us help you bake a cake.

Winters were spectacular too! It seems liked it snowed more back then, than it does now. And when it did you would put plastic bags on our feet and hands layers of socks and mittens and you would be there right with us flying down our big hill on a floor mat or a saucer. And when we were done soaking wet, cold and snotty noses you would be there with a piping  cup of hot chocolate and you Never forgot the marshmallows.

And when we were sick you took extra care with a bucket and thermometer you were always there. Rice pudding for a sick tummy when we could keep it down and chicken noodle soup (home made of course) for a cold or the flue.

You are a very special Mom and I Love You!

So what the Hell happened to me? Why didn’t I turn out like you?

Why am I depressed, withdrawn, and just a big Mess?

I know the years have gone by and now I’m 40 and we are not as close as we should be, part my fault part yours, but some days I sure could use my Mom and some of that homeade chicken noodle soup!

A Work in Progress: Insanity: Doing the same thing over and over and e...

A Work in Progress: Insanity: Doing the same thing over and over and e...: "Next to the definition of insanity it should have my name! Im on this big crusade to change. 'I hate change! 'Its easier to just stay stuck..."

Insanity: Doing the same thing over and over and expecting different results

Next to the definition of insanity it should have my name!
Im on this big crusade to change. "I hate change! "Its easier to just stay stuck in my mysery than get happy and healthy!
SO The first day of my big tranformation: I woke up I made my herbalife shakes and went back to bed, got on the internet and tried to tell everyone who would listen to try it because its great! I have lost 20 pounds in 3 weeks and I do believe in the products I do feel better every day physically!! But No one seems to be listening.
The second day of my big tranformation and on to my new happy life of financial independance;
I woke up made BIG plans of all the things I was going to do, I got up made my hebalife shake and went back to bed. I got on the internet and tried to tell anyone who would listen how great this stuff is Im feeling great! Dont you want to feel great too?

Week 3 of my big transformation and 20 pounds later I got up made my herbalife shake and guess what? I went back to bed. I got on the internet and tried to tell whoever will listen how great things are! I feel great I really DO believe in these products, .....No one is listening.

I have not sold a thing, Im unemployed broke and broken. So after 3 weeks you would think I need to try something different like get out of bed make my shake and stay out of bed. Everything is crumbeling down around me but at least Im getting healthy and loosing weight right?

If anyone who may read this has ever suffered from depression will know what Im talking about.
Whats worse is now  I have no insurance so no more happy pills. Which is a struggle all on its own.
So here is for tomorrow to get up make my herbalife shake, stay out of bed and talk to whoever will listen about how great it is and how great I feel,  and venture out into the world to start my new and exciting journey to get healthy out of bed! Cause why do today what you can make plans for tomorrow!?
Maybe I will go run up some stairs like Rocky did when he turned it all around and kicked some ass!
Does anyone have motivation in a bottle? Cause I sure coud use a big one.

And if anyone is listening Herbalife Really has some great products focused to give your body the nutrition it needs to be healthy, Their weightloss products are awesome if I can lose 20 pounds in 3 weeks living in bed imagine if I got up and moved around. They are all natural herbal products ranging from heart health, circulation, childerens vitiman supplements to weight loss and weight gain the healthy way. These days the foods donot have all the nutrition that we need to be truely healthy so supplementing our diets is nessessary and herbalife products are formulated for maximum absorption.
Please visit my online store for more info @ https://www.herbalhealthdirect.com/kellys_health_store

Have You Heard of Excercise?

Have You heard of this thing called Exercise?
From what I understand a bunch of people get in a room and move around showing all their ASS-ets to each other, sweat and groan, and they call it fun. I personally hate to sweat, Do Not Like to struggle in front of a group of strangers and like to keep the groaning for more intimate moments. I don't want to offend anyone who worship the gym gods but its just not for me. So I'm reaching out to find a different approach to this thing called exercise. I don't want to know I'm doing it, I don't want to think about it and I don't want to smell the sweat of a room full of strangers. Is that weird? I'm having flashbacks of those dreaded high school gym days and even worse the locker room! As a chubby teen who didn't fit in and painfully shy, ashamed of my body the high school gym and locker room left permanent scars that have lasted through my adult life? Does anyone have any embarrassing locker room stories? I would love to hear and know I'm not the only one.
Anyway back to the subject: On my journey to "Get Healthy" I know I need to incorporate some form of movement labeled as exercise. So I am reaching out to all of you for ideas and solutions so I can concur my fear. Who knows maybe one day I will make it to the dreaded sweat room of strangers and make some new friends. Maybe even make peace with teenage me who would rather hide in the stinky bathroom than face Gym class.
Can Anyone HELP ME? All comments and suggestions are Greatly appreciated.

Bad Days are Expected Right?

Well I am having one of those really bad days where I just want to hide under the covers. I dont want to talk to anyone or deal with anything. Have you ever had one of those? Or am I freak of nature? I guess it goes along with the depression I have struggled with for, well all my life. Reinventing yourself is hard work. I know tomorrow I will be back on track. But today is just one of those days. Im loosing weight feeling better everyday and then this happens. Well when my transformation is complete I refuse to have another day like today. My Mom is like a superwoman at 66 she never stops moving and seems to never have a day like today and her invaluable advice is "just push yoursef" Well that is so easy to say when your superwoman and never been depressed a day in your life but when your me, Not So much!
So I guess I will crawl under the covers, turn off my phones, put on a sad movie and wallow in it. But tomorrow I will get up and do the things I have to do to make myself happy.
I guess everyone needs a day sometimes right? Or am I completely wrong about this and should I force myself to get up and do the dumb things I gotta do?